An Unwanted Vacancy

An Unwanted Vacancy

When Sharon Fisher told me that she was interviewing for a position at a neighboring congregation, I couldn’t blame her though I did consider, for very selfish reasons, contacting the aforementioned inquiring congregation and sharing some harmful or questionable information but I couldn’t dig up any dirt on our volunteer newsletter editor. I could always use innuendo and some incomplete information to keep her in our midst. She misspelled a word in my newsletter article once and I think she printed a date incorrectly that I gave to her incorrectly twice. So I could’ve said she has problems with spelling and an inability to correct a confused pastor’s mistakes and an even larger problem reading his mind.

But alas, I had to tell them the truth as subtly and as unenthusiastically as possible. I used my best Parkinsonian monotone voice which I hoped would work against Sharon and for me as I shared the following:

– Sharon is a dedicated and thorough worker.
– She is a dependable, cooperative member of the staff team.
– Ms. Fisher is a pleasant, welcoming presence in the church office for those who stop by for business or just to socialize.
– She is an accomplished encourager who laughs at my bad jokes when they aren’t funny. She has feigned interest in old stories told numerous times as I hoped they would gain significance through repetition and she has typed my newsletter articles in such a way as to make me seem somewhat professional and even knowledgeable. These encouraging actions are necessary and appreciated.
– Finally, I told the unwanted inquirers in a round about way that Sharon would be a valued resource for their church and that her parole officer said she’d been on good behavior for the last six months and I added that she had not given us any problems during her work release. (These bits of info are not true but a last ditch effort to get the new church off of her trail… did not work.)

Seriously, Sharon….you are loved and appreciated by a grateful church and staff. You will be missed!!! Best wishes in your new paying gig.

We need a new volunteer newsletter editor……interested????

Andy O.
(704) 300-0062