I am not sure of all that is involved in the process, but I am due to be “programmed” on January 8th and in February and March. I initially thought when we began “The Search For The Brain” that they would simply insert wires in my head , put a battery pack in my chest and cut me loose to inflict my usual damage. But now we are talking programming. I am okay with this as long as there are no needles or knives involved.
I vaguely remember discussing the topic in earlier visits with my surgeon. He asked what I would like to get out of the procedure and I remember thinking to myself ….”well I want to get out of it as much as I can.” I want to talk clearly , I want to ditch the robot face so I don’t have to tell people ‘it’s a joke’ when I say something questionable. I want my table manners back . It’s hard to practice proper etiquette when you are just trying to get the groceries to their intended destination. I want to eat an Outback Wedge salad and not have to apologize to neighboring patrons for the bacon bits and blue cheese landing in their baked “tater”. Loaded does not include second hand salad toppings .
I want to play ultimate Frisbee with the church group . I want to hike the trails at Hanging Rock in Stokes County. I really want to play football and shoot a basketball again . (Not bragging but I retired from full contact football at the age of 50 when I discovered that young folks like to disable old guys who think they can still play).
But the fact is I probably will not be able to do all these things . But I am gonna try. The likely scenario is that I will probably be able to communicate a little better , my motor skills are likely to improve and maybe I can walk like I am not trying to shoplift a big screen television in my baggy sweats.
I have said all this to say . … I will be ‘unprogrammed’ on December 27th and the first Sunday in January when I return to the pulpit . I am ready to get
back to the family. Pray that the scripture will ring true on these Sundays ….”His strength is made evident in my weakness “.
See you soon!
Andy O